The Dating Tool: Confidence
I'm over it. "There's plenty of
fish in the sea," they say. Well, apparently I have been using the wrong
bait. Nobody said dating would be easy, but Hollywood sure likes to paint it
that way, doesn't it? "There's someone for everyone," they say. Maybe
that ought to translate to, "There's someone for everyone....as long as
you're a muscled pretty boy with washboard abs, and at least 6 feet tall."
So how does one get by this
unsettling dating stipulation? Are we actually to believe that love will find
us when we're not looking? I think people who say that are normally in happy
relationships when they say it. Can we "buy" outer beauty from an
online store to match our own inner beauty? Somebody is buying pheromones and
weight-loss pills and liposuction and facial restructuring. Hell, now people
even get plastic surgery to make them look like a celebrity. Huh??? And you
know what? I bet these things work for people. As long as it can build the
confidence up in someone, it also strengthens the attraction. So how can we
build up that confidence without spending tons of money to people who know how
the game works? Sounds like a question for the shrink.
I suppose its all part of why I
started up a matchmaking service with a friend of mine in Los Angeles. It can
be so frustrating out there. And being "alone" can only make your
work day more stressful, it seems. So if I had someone to do the dirty work for
me....get me the dating connections, counsel me on why I might not be getting
that second date, maybe my frustration level would decrease. So I went into the
business....pretty much as a means to find out what can be done to find the
perfect one.
OK, so nobody's perfect, but at
least maybe I can find a decent one who happens to have similar ethics as
myself. Oh, and a killer sense of humour is mandatory. But looking around,
nobody was going to help me, a fact that made me feel even more alone! So I had
to do it myself. Such is life, right? Part of it might be that I feel a need to
always be in control of my own destiny. As long as I am actively pursuing
something, I am a success. Yea, that sounds right! So I joined forced with my
cohort and we started Let's Meet Here. Now I'm gonna' find the one, right?
Wrong!
As it seems unethical to date my own
clients (damn, I knew I'd run into some roadblock!), I figured....at least pass
on any information I can gather to those who need it (and baby, we all need
it!). Granted, I am learning about all this stuff now. It seems every date and
every relationship is completely unique. There is no list of do's and don'ts
that applies. But I do know that going into the business has allowed me an
increase in confidence that is apparent in me without my even having to think
about it. I am starting to really believe that success comes from the active
pursuit of a goal, whether or not the goal is achieved. The process in itself
builds character...and character is attractive.
So while I learn as I go, I will
show as I go too. It is absolutely within my own power to be a success. And the
pursuit of achievements is an achievement of its own. However, I have also
learned that a little is never enough. And to settle after one's success is no
success at all. Maybe now I'm fishing with the right bait!
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