Text Messages and Dating Rules

Text Messages and Dating Rules

We all know the various rules surrounding phone calls after the first date or after exchanging numbers. But in this day of rapid and brief communication, how does text message factor into those old school rules? Is it a bad idea to text him before he texts you? Are there things you should avoid saying? Do you need to wait before responding to him if he does text you first? Text messaging has only been popular in the last decade, so there are no hard and fast rules for it in the dating game. That said, there are a few guidelines you can follow to help make sure you're not embarrassing yourself!

In most cases, it is actually best to wait for him to text you. In this day and age, text messaging has virtually replaced phone calls for casual communication, so the same rule applies as does with exchanging phone numbers. Letting him text you first gives you the upper hand in gauging his interest and planning your next meeting. When you can respond at your own discretion, you are in control. If you were to text him first, you would be likely to sit there waiting for him to text back, wondering if he ever will. Which, when he does, will probably make you act frantic or respond hastily out of anxiety.

When he does text you, what should you do? Should you respond immediately? Probably not. Instead, let the message sink in for a second. Look at what he sent you and make sure that you are not misinterpreting anything. If he said, "It was good to meet you," don't immediately assume that he's asking for a date! Once you are aware of what, exactly, he is saying to you, respond slowly and calmly. Feel free to enter into a conversation, but don't get too excited about responding to him -- it may make him think you have nothing else going on and are waiting by the phone just to reply.

Lastly, be aware that everyone keeps different schedules. While text messages are typically a non-invasive form of communication, a random text message at two in the morning could wake him out of a dead sleep and make him wonder what the heck you're doing up that late. Also be wary of bothering him while he's at work or expecting an immediate response during hours he may be sleeping or busy.