Best of Internet Dating - It's Not For Geeks
Six months ago an old school friend
and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do. She
was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the "right sort" of men.
I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the look of
horror that quickly appeared on her face gave the instant answer - of course
not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or
freaky.
Sadly this type of response is
typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who
instantly dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not
using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is
natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers, and
friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place for
meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the
ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working.
Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties, and some
lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college or university.
However, the workplace remains number one for long term relationships. The reason
for this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born out of
robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a
day five days a week with the same people and you will get to know them very
well. It is not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your
colleagues than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we as
a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social
environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet new
people. So if you don't meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the
dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea,
they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new
medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies
have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages for those
seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running a dating service,
and that means agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience.
Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line
agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because not everyone
is looking for their future husband or wife on their doorstep. Indeed not
everyone is looking for a future husband or wife; the explosion in internet
dating has made it easier than ever to find new friends and correspondents
across the globe.
These two points mean that some of
the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and
literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people, if
you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet
is simply too big a resource to ignore. And 'net dating is safe too; there is
no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you know
someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted communication
and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly, internet dating can
be safer than almost any other way of meeting people.
The internet has revolutionised the
way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To
use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing
world.
After that chat six months ago I
convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn't even have to
pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages to other
people. Now I never see her because she is spending all of her time with her
new man. She didn't find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches
would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn't expect to find
him at all.
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